Friday 30 September 2011

Another trip to the FC

Off I trotted this morning for yet another date with the dildo-cam - what joy!!

Had a different nurse today (don't like her as much as the other one) and she seemed surprised that hubby wanted to sit with me during the scan.  He does that with every scan though, and to be honest I don't see why he shouldn't as he's (almost) as much a part of the process as I am!!!

Anyway, I digress!!!  Result of the scan is that I now have 5 follicles left on one side and 4 on the other side, which is an improvement on Wednesday when I had 6 on one side and 7 on the other.  So it looks as though things are starting to improve slightly, although I still seem to be in as much pain which I don't understand.  I've to go back on Monday again to have it re-check, so fingers crossed by then they've all gone so that we're ready to start again when AF arrives.

S x
I've had a pretty rough few days, hence no posting from me for a while.

I've been in quite a bit of pain since the scan last Wednesday that led to our IUI cycle being cancelled. On Thursday it was crippling - to the point I was going to get DH to take me to the hospital - but on Friday it eased off and I thought it was because I OV'd and it was more painful than normal because of the multiple follicles I'd produced (the IUI was abandoned because I over stim'd)

Anyway, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday it was as bad as every again and Wednesday was awful. My stomach was so swollen up that I looked as pregnant as the girl I work with who is almost 6 months (and I normally have a flat size 10 tummy) and I'm in pain constantly and it becomes worse when I move. I decided to phone the FC to ask their opinion, and the nurse told me to go over this afternoon to be scanned to check what's going on.

I went to the hospital, and after a scan they confirmed that it's OHSS. My ovaries are so enlarged that they were touching!!!! The nurse couldn't even see my uterus because they were blocking everything. Apparently I had 6 follicles in one ovary and 7 in the other - and they all OV'd!!! And they were all over 2mm each! No wonder I was in pain on Thursday when I OV'd. I was ordered off work for the next few days and told to rest a lot.

So, I took yesterday and today off as holidays (don't really want to take them as sick if I can help it) and yesterday I literally didn't move from the sofa all day except to have a shower. I'm due back at the hospital in about an hour and a half, and to be honest things aren't really any better. I still look about 6 months pregnant and at times I can't even do up my trousers, and still in a lot of pain although not moving has helped a bit (until I move again that is!!)

So, fingers crossed that things look a bit better on the scan today and that I don't need to a) take any more time off work and b) they don't admit me to hospital!!!

S x

Friday 23 September 2011

What a couple of days!

After our disappointment on Wednesday I'll admit I was a bit tearful the rest of the day.  I don't think it helped that the scan caused me to have horrible tummy ache all night either.
Yesterday, however was worse.  I wasn't too bad in the morning, but come mid afternoon I had horrific pains in my tummy to the point where I was struggling to walk because every step made it worse.  I went to the swimming in the hope that would help, but if anything it made it worse and by the time I got home I couldn't do anything but lie on the sofa.  At one point I was getting pretty worried it was OHSS and considered phoning the hospital to ask what to do, but I decided I'd give it over night and judge how it was this morning.

Thankfully it seems to have eased up a lot today, and although it's still tender it's bearable now.  I'm wondering if it was maybe OV pains yesterday and was just a lot worse than normal because there were so many follicles to OV?  We were advised by the nurse not to BD just in case because there was an increased chance of more than one egg fertilizing, but we kind of forgot! *oops*  Just have to hope that nothing comes of it, although after over two years of TTC I don't think there's much chance of it anyway.

S x

Wednesday 21 September 2011

Cycle Abandoned

Just back from the hospital and we've had to abandon this cycle as I overstimulated.

We were hoping for between 1-3 follicles, but there were seven mature and a lot of smaller ones too, so they can't proceed any further this month. Need to wait until AF arrives again then go back for a scan to check the follicles are all gone before we can start the next cycle.

I'm so disappointed that we've got this far only for it all to stop again

Tuesday 20 September 2011

D Day Approaching

Tomorrow is D day - decision day that is!!

Tomorrow morning we're back at the FC for a scan to check how many follicles I have, and all being well I should be able to have my trigger shot in the afternoon (self administered) in order for IUI to take place on Thursday afternoon.

I've taken Thursday and Friday off work, partly because if the follicles aren't ready I'll have another Gonal F injection tomorrow and then back on Thursday to check them again, and partly because I'm really struggling to concentrate on anything at work just now.  Due to the work I do, I really can't afford to make mistakes, so I figured until we get this part over with I'd (and my patients) be better taking some time off.

I'm not stressed about it all as such, but it has hit me in the last 24 hours that it's all very real now and things have moved very quickly (we only had our appointment to confirm we were starting treatment two weeks ago!)  I don't know if it's the thought of it not working, and potentially having all this to do again another five times before we even start IVF, but it has freaked me out slightly.  I'll be fine though I'm sure, although going on the last week or so I think I could be certifiable by the end of the TWW.

So please keep your fingers crossed for us that the follicles are nice and mature tomorrow, and that there are a maximum of three waiting for us as any more than that and we'll have to abandon the cycle.

S x

Monday 19 September 2011

Feeling so let down

Apologies, I just read this post back and it's a bit of a ramble but I'm hoping it'll help to write it down.

I went to the hospital yet again today and had the third of my Gonal F injections.  I say "had", but that should actually be "gave myself" as today I had to do the jab myself with the nurse watching to make sure I did it right.  Apparently I'm a pro at it, so I'll be able to do all the injections from now on at home myself.  I'm pleased about that as it will mean a lot less trips to the hospital.
So, next on the agenda is back to the FC on Wednesday for a scan to check if the follicles are ready.

Still doing well on the side effect front, although I have had a bit of an emotional night.  The thing that upset me is that although we chose to tell my Mum that we were starting treatment this month she has shown no interest whatsoever and hasn't even asked if we've started or how it's going.  We did say that we were hoping to pay for private treatment while we were waiting on NHS IVF, and Mum always said that she'd help us out with some of the money towards it.  We didn't plan on taking her up on that, but it was nice to have the offer.
When we found out we could give IUI a try, I told Mum about it although we didn't mention if it was NHS or private and she didn't ask.  Ever since then she has avoided us and even when she's been speaking to me has made a point of speaking about everything else except the biggest thing in our lives - trying to have a baby.

I think that she isn't bringing it up because she's worried we'll ask her for the money she's offered toward the treatment - not that we would even if it were private treatment - and for some reason she doesn't want to help us.  Now, to put you in the picture my parents are far from short of cash and recently I claimed back PPI on their mortgage for them and I know that they received over £6k back.

The money isn't what is bothering me anyway, the thing that's upsetting me is that she doesn't even care what we're going through.  It hurts even more because when we started attending the FC my oldest sister was going through fertility testing too.  In the end, sadly her and her husband can't have kids, but all through her appointments and tests Mum made a point of calling us all to tell us what was going on.  I always asked her anyway, because I was interested and cared and wanted to be there for her, but now we're the ones going through it all no one is interested at all.  The only thing she seems to care about just now is her holiday (which is another bone of contention between her and us as she booked it with my middle sister and her kids and didn't want us and our kids to go)

The way I feel over all of this has really made me take a step back from my family and tonight I couldn't even bare to speak to Mum and made hubby lie to her that I wasn't here. I feel as though hubby and I are on our own.

S x

Saturday 17 September 2011

Knew it was too good to last!!

So off I trotted to the hospital today to have my second Gonal F injection.  It was pretty straight forward really, just went into the ward and told the nurses who I was and they showed me into a treatment room.  The nurse who did the injection was really nice, and when she injected the drugs it was a lot less painful than the last one.  I'm not sure if it was because this one was on the opposite side and if maybe there was scar tissue from my appendectomy, but either way I'm not bothered so long as it wasn't painful. lol
As we were leaving the nurse wished us good luck, which was lovely but almost made me cry!!

Within a few hours my tummy started feeling quite bloated and heavy and it's still the same way.  I did think it was a bit too good to be true that I didn't have any side effects at all, but if that's all I have to suffer then I won't complain.

I also decided to have a try of my practice injections tonight.  I did one and have one to do tomorrow night before I inject myself on Monday at the hospital.  It was a bit fiddly because it's the first time I'd done it, but it was pretty straight forward, although I did feel a bit sorry for the apple I injected!! lol

S x

Friday 16 September 2011

Well that was interesting!!!

So yesterday was the first of my injections.  Apparently the latest drug being fed to me is Gonal F at 70iu does.  I hadn't really been nervous about going yesterday, but for some reason around 12 I started to get quite stressed about it.  I'm not scared of/worried by needles, in the slightest, but I'll be honest - when I saw the drug pack sitting on the table it did cross my mind that I didn't think I could do all of this.

It didn't last long though, and as soon as the nurse started showing me what to do to make up the solution, filling the syringe and changing the needles I was totally ok about it.  Mixing it up looks ok (I was worried it'd be complicated) and it wasn't even sore when she put the needle in.  When she injected the drugs though, jeez did that sting like a biatch!!!!!

I'd thought I had a scan to have yesterday, but when I got there I didn't have so that was a nice surprise.  For some reason when I think I don't have a scan to have I get one, and when I think I have one I don't!!!  Still, I won't complain at as little scans as possible!

I was given a goody bag to take home with me before we left.  Hubby said it wasn't fair that he didn't get one, but when I said he could have mine if he took the drugs he soon changed his mind :-)  My little bag basically has all the things I need in it to self-inject.  It comes with two practice drug packs to allow me to practice making up the solution and injecting it into a piece of fruit - because that'll be anything like injecting it into my own tummy I don't think! I'll try and add a picture of it if I can work out how!!



As it stands now, I've just taken my last clomid tablet tonight (5 in total) and I've had the first of three Gonal F injections.  I have my next injection here as I have to go to a different hospital tomorrow to have my second injection as the FC is closed at the weekend and you take your own drugs, this also means that instead of just doing the third injection myself I have to go and do it with the nurse watching to make sure I can do it ok on Monday morning.  If we need another cycle though I'll be able to inject all of them myself, which will save a lot of running around to the hospital every couple of days.

I seem to be lucky so far and I've not had too much in the way of symptoms from the drugs so far.  I've been trying to keep busy so that I don't start that old favorite pass time of all LTTTCers - symptom spotting!!! lol  Here's hoping the lack of side effects continues!

Wednesday 14 September 2011

Two down, three to go......

So far so good - two days of clomid so far (tonight is number three) and no side effects!  I'm not actually sure whether it's actually been no side-effects or if the stinky cold that I can't shake off is just covering them up!! lol
Tomorrow it's off to the hospital for the first of my injections, but to be honest I'm not too worried about it because needles don't really bother me much.  I just hope that I don't end up a moody cow with all the hormones! lol

Although we've told my family and a couple of friends each about the problems we've had TTC, we've only told my parents and two friends that we're actually starting treatment.  To be honest now I wish we just hadn't told them because my mum is so disinterested and it really gets to me that she doesn't seem to care about what we're going through.  Still, I know that if the treatment works she'll soon change her tune, but she'd be in for a shock because I'm afraid that wouldn't be happening - we've had to cope with this journey without their support, so if we get the result we want we'll be the ones enjoying it all without anyone else trying to muscle in.

Anyway, that's my moan for the evening (think I'm a bit emotional tonight because I'm ill and tired)  Off to have a cuppa and my third clomid then bed for me to try and sleep off some of this cold!!

S x

Monday 12 September 2011

And, we're off!!!!

Well, AF showed up bang on time yesterday which for once I was actually pleased about.  The reason being that now we can start our first cycle of IUI!!!

Tonight I'll take my first 50mg Clomid tablet and the process will be started.

I called the clinic today (as they're closed over the weekend) and the nurse made all of my appointments for me: *I'll take Clomid from today (CD2) until CD5
*On Thursday (CD5) I have to go to the FC at 3.45 to have a baseline scan and my first injection.
*On Saturday I need to go to the Gynae department at a different hospital to have my second injection (again because the FC is closed over the weekend)
*On Monday I'm back to the FC again for another injection (if we need more cycles I'll do them myself after that)
*On Wednesday it's back to the FC AGAIN to another scan to see how the follies are growing
*If things are as they should be I'll be given a trigger shot to inject at 3pm and then we'll return to the FC the next afternoon for the actual IUI

If the follies aren't ready on Wednesday, I'll be given another injection and go back the next day to check if they're ready then before having the trigger.

All in all I think it's going to be a pretty busy (and quite scary) couple of weeks.  I'm not worried about the injections at all, but the whole process is a pretty daunting thought.  I'm quite aware that it's a lot of pressure on hubby too, as of course he needs to put up with the hormone effects plus knowing that he has to "perform" when required again.

So, after over two years of TTC and getting nowhere, we're finally on what will hopefully be the road to our BFP - the sooner the better!!!

S x

Wednesday 7 September 2011

All set for our first IUI cycle

We had our appointment today to finalize all the bits and pieces for our first IUI cycle.

We had the same nurse as before, who is lovely, although she did surprise me with a scan I wasn't expecting (was so glad I "tidied up" before I went)  Everything with that was fine though, although I was a bit surprised to be scanned less than a week before AF is due.

Anyway, the nurse basically went over everything about the treatment - timescales, drugs, procedures for each appointment, side effects and what to do if anything was wrong either during office hours or outwith, all the things that can go wrong (but hopefully won't)
She then proceeded to scared the bejesus out of hubby by saying that it "could" result in triplets.  Amused me no end to watch his reaction

So this is the plan (just in case it's useful for anyone although of course things can always vary):

CD1 - phone the FC to arrange all of my appointments right through until the day after IUI
CD2 - start taking 50ml clomid each day until CD5 (which I got today so need to put somewhere I'll remember)
CD5 - into the FC for a scan to check everything is as it should be.  Also given my first injection today at the clinic.  They do this one.
CD7 - back to the FC for another scan to check lining and follicles and given another injection.  This time I'm shown how to make up the drugs myself and they watch me doing the injection.
CD9 - another injection but this time I do it myself
CD11 - FC for another scan to check follie growth, and if there are enough (1-3) and they're mature enough I'm given a trigger shot to take at 3pm.  If they're not mature I'm given another dose of drugs and return the next day to repeat the process.
CD12 - Basting day!!  Hubby has to hand in his sample in the morning, then two hours later I'm back to the FC for yet another scan to check that I've OV'd and then the washed sperm is inserted through a catheter.
CD13 - another scan to check that OV occurred, and if necessary another basting.
CD14-OTD - the dreaded TWW

So there you go, the plan of how my life should be for the next couple of weeks starting on Monday (if AF arrives on time)  We found out today that we get 6 cycles rather than the 3 I thought we got, so that's good news.

S x

Thursday 1 September 2011

Over the Moon

After worrying myself all week about hubby's SA today to decide if we can have IUI, I phoned the clinic at ten minutes past two (they told me to call after two lol) to be told

HIS SAMPLE SHOWS THAT WE'RE SUITABLE FOR IUI!!!!!

Over the moon doesn't even come close when I was almost sick when I was waiting for them to answer the phone to tell me.  The nurse laughed because I sounded so relieved!

So, we have an appointment on Wednesday next week to have our compulsory counselling, complete the paper work and go over the treatment and what it entails.  After that we're good to go, and as AF is due on 11/12th that means we'll be starting our first cycle of treatment roughly a week on Sunday/Monday.

After over two years of trying to get pregnant it finally feels as though we're getting somewhere.  I know there's a good chance it won't work - but there's also a chance that it could help us to have the baby we've waited so long for.

S x