Sunday, 15 July 2012

6 Days to go!!

So we officially start our first cycle in SIX days time - how scary is that after all the waiting around!!!  You'd think I'd just be excited but the closer it's getting the more worried I am about it.  Going on the IUI though I'm sure once I start injecting I'll be better as it gives you something to focus on and you feel like you're actually doing something.

There hasn't really been anything major going on in the last couple of weeks, just plodding along and killing time until we start.  Today was a bit of a wobbly day for me though.  Hubby and I took Dad's car out for a drive (he's still not able to drive after being ill) and decided to get a coffee and sit in the park drinking it to let the car run and charge the battery.  We parked in the car park beside the beach, and it really hit me when I saw all the families with young kids playing and feeding the swans.  I had that awful aching feeling in my heart that I've not had for a long long time, and I thought I was past that and must have come to terms with the fact that we might never get to be like that - but it seems not.  It took all my effort not to cry, but the feeling did pass eventually and hopefully it won't come back for a while.

So this week is shaping up like this:  Thursday is acupuncture with Maureen then Saturday is pro-stap.  I've arranged with one of the girls from the support group to go to the cinema on Saturday evening, so that'll give me something to look forward to while I'm at the hospital.  We're going to see Magic Mike so a proper girly film which should be a laugh.

S x

Monday, 9 July 2012

You learn something new every day!!

The support group on Thursday was really informative as we had the information about what a cycle of IVF involves straight from the horses mouth (so to speak)  Helen was really good at going through things and was open to any questions we had.  She also told us something I didn't realise - if you have a successful cycle of IVF(ICSI) and still have frozen embryos, I thought you'd have to pay privately to use them as current NHS funding is not available if you have a child.  However, Helen told us that if your cycle works and you have a baby, and are lucky enough to have some embies still frozen, you get another chance to use them up funded by the NHS (instead of injections you're given tablets for this, and it's only until you have another successful cycle)  So there you go, just when you thought you knew everything about treatment you learn something new!! lol

Friday was my second acupuncture session with Maureen, which I was strangely looking forward to.  I'd had a headache all day at work, so was hoping the session would help that too but sadly it didn't.  She asked if I was including all the foods she'd advised me to have and if I was taking the herbs she'd given me (which I am) and then did some more treatment to encourage blood flow to my uterus in preparation for starting treatment.  We worked out rough dates for when things "should" happen, so now I've got a bit more of a plan in my head of how things are going to progress after my next appointment.  For some strange reason I've developed a whopper of a bruise where the needle was in my tummy which I've never had before, but I'm sure it's fine as I do tend to bruise easily most of the time.

Now it's just a case of waiting around until my next acupuncture session on 19th July, then it's back to the hospital on 21st for my pro-stap injection and the start of our next roller-coaster ride!!

S x

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

The first time I've been glad to see the Witch!!!

And she even had the decency to arrive early!!!!  I wasn't expecting her until tomorrow, but she arrived on Saturday night (so counts as Sunday really) which meant I could get on the phone the the hospital for an appointment to go for my pro-stap injection.

It took me a while to get through, and I was starting to worry that I might be too late and wouldn't get an appointment but finally someone answered the phone!!!  My appointment is on 21st July and I've to go to the ACS unit to have my injection done.  I'm assuming I'll be in and out so trying not to think about too much, although I can't say I'm feeling the same way at the thought of the side-effects.

The pro-stap injection basically puts your body into the menopause, so you get the same symptoms - sweats, mood swings, sore boobs etc.  I'm hoping that I won't be too bad with it as I haven't been too bad int he past when I was on meds, but who knows and I guess the only way to find out is to wait and see.  After the injection it should take roughly two weeks (ish) for me to have a bleed then I go back for my first scan, blood tests and to collect my meds on 9th August.

After so long trying to get pregnant and then the long wait to get to the top of the list, it feels like things are motoring along now and it's quite scary.  I'm not worried about the scans/injections etc, more that this is our last chance of having a baby and if it doesn't work I'll have to find a way to deal with that reality.

Since tomorrow is the first Thursday of the month, I'm off to my IF support group again, which I'm really looking forward to as we have a lady coming to speak to us from the hospital we all attend.  She's a PGD (Pre Genetic Diagnosis) expert, so I'm not sure whether the talk will be just about that or about IVF in general, but I'm not bothered really as it'll be fab speaking to someone who knows all the ins and outs.  Before tomorrow's meeting I'm meeting up with one of the girls for a coffee and a natter. I've only met C once at the group, but we've been chatting a lot by e-mail and we get on really well.  She's such an easy person to talk to and it's great having someone who understands what you're going through and how you feel.

Friday is also my second acupuncture session (busy week for me this week) with Maureen as she wanted to see me when AF arrived again.  I'm actually looking forward to it for some weird reason, maybe it's because it's a time that's just about me and nothing else.  When AF arrived I started taking the herbs Maureen gave me last time, no effects from them but I'm hoping the help things a bit anyway.

S x

Monday, 25 June 2012

Ready, Steady............

.....almost go!!!!!

We had our second appointment at the ACS today to hand in our consent forms and discuss the treatment we'd be having.  To say I was nervous about today would have been an understatement, no idea why when nothing was actually happening as such today.

Anyway, thankfully it was mega busy in work this morning so I didn't really get a chance to think about things too much while I was waiting for it to get to two o'clock and time to leave.  As I work in a hospital not too far from where we're having treatment, I'm able to get the minibus we use to transport samples between hospitals which cuts down the time I have to have away from work - just as well when you think about how much of your time it takes up having any sort of fertility treatment.

Our appointment was at two thirty, and bang on the dot we were called into a room by one of the nurses.  She introduced herself to us, and did the usual check of who we were.  We started off going through so medical history for us both then it was onto the consent forms which we'd been given last time we were there.  I'd managed to complete most of them at home so thankfully it didn't take long as we just talked about the bits I wasn't sure of and signed those off too.

Hubby and I have agreed that if anything were to happen to him and we had snow-babies (frozen embryos) then I can still go ahead and use them and he'd be named on the birth certificate of any children born.  Sounds like a horrible thing to discuss but it has to be done I guess.  The other major decision we had to make was how many embryos to have put back at transfer time (always providing of course that we get that far and it's actually an issue)  We discussed it with the nurse, and agreed that we'd go with one for the first cycle to see how things go, and if the first one doesn't work we'll go with two for the next cycle.  I'll be honest, I wanted to have two straight away (even although I know it doesn't give any more chance of it working) but I have to take hubby's opinion into account too, so I'm happy with what we agreed on.

After all the paperwork it was down to the scary business of dates to start!!!!  The nurse asked when my last period was, and off she went to check the treatment diary to see when I could fit in.  I was so gutted when she came back and said they had a cancellation this month and I could had my prostrap today, but I just missed it as today was CD25 for me and it has to be done on CD21 :-(

Still, I guess I should just be happy we're ready to go now and it's not much longer to wait.  As soon as AF arrives, which should be in roughly a week, I've to phone the ACS and they'll book me in for CD21 for my down regging injection (prostrap)  Then I go back on 9th August for my first scan and bloods to make sure everything shut down ok, and it's time to start the stimming meds to get plenty of follicles/eggs (hopefully)
It's quite scary now to think that we're so close after so long waiting.  Basically we'll be starting our first cycle   around 19th July when I have my injection - that's only 4 weeks away!!!!!!

Hubby and I always joked that when I had the down regging meds that he could go away for a few days as chances are I'm going to be mega hormonal and I always take it out on him.  When we said that to the nurse she thought it was a good idea actually, so now we're starting to plan where he's going around the dates we have now and that way we should hopefully avoid either of us being under any more stress than we have to be.

Now it's just a waiting game for AF to arrive so that I can call them and cement the dates, which trying to stay relaxed and making sure I take the advice of the acupuncture lady and increase the blood nourishing foods/herbs she told me to take to get my body ready for the next step in our journey.

S x


Thursday, 21 June 2012

Well that wasn't as painful as I thought it might be!! ;-)

So it finally rolled around - the day of my first acupuncture session with Maureen!

We've had a lot on the last few days, so I was even more stressed than normal by the time my appointment time came.  When I went into the clinic it was all very nice and welcoming (even if the guy at the desk was a bit strange and manic!!) and I didn't have to wait too long until Maureen called me through.  The first thing she did was ask my main reason for going, which was obviously because we're about to start IVF, then she explained she'd ask me a lot of questions - some of which I might not think were relevant but they'd give her an all round picture of "me"

I explained to her that I've always had a bit of a worry that my AF's aren't right, but when I've said this to any of the nurses I've seen they always say it's fine because all my scans and blood tests came back ok.  Basically although my AF's are very regular, it only lasts 24 hours, and even then I barely even need to use anything because it's so light.  Maureen agreed it did sound a bit strange, especially when the scans have shown my uterine lining is fine (either thick or thin depending on the timing of the scan) and said she thinks it's to do with my blood lacking in something and not flowing around my uterus the way it should.  She gave me a list of blood enriching foods that she said I should try and eat more of to help, plus she gave me some Chinese herbs to take the first two weeks of my next cycle.  She said she'll treat me for blood enriching too when I have appointments, but she understands that treatment sessions are expensive and as the herbs are a lot cheaper (£10 for enough to do me two weeks) she would rather I take them to try and help and need less  sessions (I was impressed with that)  I have to take 8 tablets (!) three times a day from CD1 until I ovulate when I next have AF - I'm strangely looking forward to taking them!! lol

After we'd gone through all my history and discussed it in detail, Maureen asked me to get up onto the bed so she could check the pulses in my hands and feet and the temperature of my abdomen.  Something I found strange, was that she said when she felt my pulse that it felt sad, and she asked me why.  I told her that a couple of weeks ago my Dad had collapsed suddenly and we thought we were going to lose him (at which point I almost burst into tears) and she said that would explain it.  She then started to put the needles into my skin; two in my tummy (one just above my lady garden and the other about three inches further up), one in each of my knees just under my knee caps, and one in each of my wrists.  It was funny, because when she put the one in my right wrist it hit a small nerve and made my pinky go numb - it didn't hurt though and as soon as I told her she moved it and said that sometimes it can touch a little nerve in the skin.

I lay on the table and Maureen manipulated the needles every so often while she was talking to me, but it didn't hurt at any point at all and was a really strange sensation.  Once the time was up the needles were taken out (again, didn't hurt at all) and Maureen did my pulses again. I don't really know if there was any difference because I forgot to ask!!

I have another appointment to go back to see Maureen when AF arrives next (should be 6th July) although if she decides to play up it's not a hassle to change my appointments to suit.  I've already got some of my blood enriching foods to eat (some apricots) and my next shopping I'll be sure to stock up on more.

Hubby said that he thinks is all a load of rubbish, and I'll be honest, I'm not sure if I think it works or not.  I just think that it's worth a try though, even if it's just for the 45 minutes each time I go to just be about me and to have Maureen advise me of what to eat/drink/do all the way through the whole process (she's already given me pointers for when I'm growing follicles, and she said she'll tell me what to do/not do at each stage when I see her)

Now, just need to keep the chilled out feeling I have after today going until our appointment at the hospital on Monday afternoon to get our dates for treatment.

S x

Sunday, 17 June 2012

A week to go and Accupuncture

It's now just a week until we go back to the Assisted Conception Unit (ACS) for the results of our bloods/swabs and to finish our consent forms to start treatment.  I thought the four weeks since the last appointment would have dragged in, but actually it's been such a busy few weeks that it's almost here before I've had time to realise.

Last weekend we had a scare with my Dad, and to be totally honest we thought we were going to lose him after he collapsed when he was out shopping with my Mum.  He's still not better, but it looks like he's out of the woods and hopefully he'll make a full recovery with time.  It couldn't be more apt to have Father's Day today, I've never been so grateful to have my Dad than I am just now.

After going to my second meeting of the Infertility Support group I went to, one of the girls had given me the name of the lady she went to for acupuncture so I gave her a call.  Her name is Maureen and she was lovely, taking the time to go through everything with me and explain it all.  She likes to see clients before they start any drugs, so to be on the safe side she wanted to see me before we go back to the ACS - so my first appointment is on Thursday!!!!  It's a longer appointment as she'll need to get all my background and things, and I'm kind of looking forward to it and dreading it in equal measure.  I'm not so worried about the needles as such, as I had some acupuncture on my leg (one of the many many things they tried!!!)  but for some reason it feels like a big step to actual start going for it purely for IVF purposes.

It isn't going to be cheap either, the first session is £40 and then it's £35 each session afterwards.  When I spoke to Maureen she told me how many sessions she recommends during a cycle, and working it out I think it'll be around £215 per cycle of treatment.  I know a lot of people think things like Chinese Medicine are a con and don't work, but when you've been TTC for so long you'll give anything a go and money doesn't even come into it.

So it's going to be a busy week this week.  I've managed to stop myself filling in the consents until now, so this week I plan on taking my time to go through everything to make sure I understand it all, then it's my acu session on Thursday, a wedding on Saturday, my sister's 40th birthday on Sunday and back to the hospital on Monday to get the dates to finally start our IVF journey.

S x

Saturday, 26 May 2012

1st IVF Appointment

Our appointment was at 9am today (not 10.15am like I though - good job I double checked last night!!) which was great because it was less time for me to work myself up before hand!

The nurse we had was really lovely, and took a lot of time explaining everything that was going to happen to us and making sure we understood it all.  She took blood from both hubby and I to test for Hep A/B/C and HIV plus another AMH for me but we've had them all done before so it's not something we're concerned about at all.  I also had to have swabs taken to check for infection and chlamydia (again, already had it done so not worried) but it was fine and barely even uncomfortable apart from my leg still not being great.

She also gave us a pack of forms we have to complete before starting treatment, some of them we have to do at home and the others when we go back next time.  We go back 4 weeks on Monday to the ACS (Assisted Conception Services) unit and we'll get all the results then from today's tests and go over everything that will happen with the treatment cycle.  I know my AMH is 12.5, so when I told the nurse that she said that was good and I'd go onto protocol 7 - and that's the one they like people being on because it's easier and more straightforward which is great news!!  All being well and providing AF decides not to mess around and there is an appointment available, we should be able to start our first cycle within roughly a week or so of the appointment!!

One thing hubby and I will have to discuss before we go back next month is how we feel about a single or double embryo transfer (SET/DET)  The policy at our clinic is to only put one embryo back if you're under 35, but from speaking to other people who have had treatment there it seems that you can sometimes push for a DET and they'll allow it.  I know there are risks with a multiple pregnancy, but I have read up on it quite a bit and I am leaning toward a double transfer rather than a single.  Anyway, it's something we'll discuss more over the next couple of weeks and even then we'll have to see what the clinic says.

When I say we were given a pack of forms I'm not kidding, here is a list of what we have;

*A letter detailing what is in the pack
*An acknowledgement of Information provided form to sign
*A "Female partner" questionnaire
*A "Male partner" questionnaire
*Consent to contact GP
*A patient registration form
*Consent to IVF/ICSI
*"Welfare of the child" information
*Consent for use of eggs/embryos for treatment and storage of embryos
*Consent for use of your sperm and embryos for your partners treatment and storage of embryos
*Your consent to the disclosure of identifying information (one for each of us to complete)
*Information about the embryo transfer pathway
*Consent to embryo transfer pathway

Told you I wasn't kidding!!!!!!! lol

They'll keep me busy over the next few weeks anyway until our next appointment, and it's so exciting to finally be staring the next step on our journey to having a baby.  I never for a minute thought this is the way we would (hopefully) be having a baby, but I guess there's nothing for it but to get on with things and hope that it works and we finally get our longed for baby.

S x