Well, another abandoned cycle due to over responding to the drugs, Can't say I was totally surprised as it seems to be becoming a bit of a habit with us, but it still didn't stop me being upset about it (was horrified when I burst into tears while I was still in with the nurse) This time I had nine follicles ranging from 11mm-15mm, and the nurse expected at least 5 of them to mature and OV, and as we can only proceed with a max of 3 follicles it means another waste of time.
The worst bit was that after the daily injections my tummy had become a bit of a mess and was pretty sore (so much so that the last injection was agony which has never happened before) which made it so much worse when it was all for nothing. Not a lot I can do about it though, although I would have thought that after 1 complete cycle and three abandoned ones they'd have a better idea of what the hell they were doing with the drugs.
Hubby hates that it upsets me so much each time it goes wrong, so he suggested giving up with the IUI now and just holding out for IVF in a few months. I can see where he's coming from, and in a way I'd love to stop now and have a break for a few months, however ask anyone who has been a LTTTCer and they'll tell you that all the upset and disappointment is better than sitting back and doing nothing. After speaking to some other long termers and asking their opinion, speaking to hubby and doing a lot of thinking, I think we've agreed we'll give it one more go then that's the end of our IUI attempts. It'll mean a couple of months off from treatment, which I'm sure I'll find hard, but at least it'll give my body a break from all the drugs for a bit before it's over loaded when we start IVF.
In a way it's probably a good thing it was cancelled this time as it would have meant AF being due on my birthday, whereas OVing on my own means AF should be due the day after instead which I'm happier with (notice that I don't even give consideration that we could have done it on our own - oh to be back to being nieve and thinking you got pregnant just by having sex once!!lol)
So, a couple of weeks of trying to relax and wishing all the follicles away before going back for another scan and hopefully starting the next and last cycle of IUI.
S x
Sunday, 15 January 2012
Thursday, 5 January 2012
IUI attempt ........ who knows!!!!
It was a pretty quiet Christmas and New Year for us, which was fine by me to be honest. Hubby and I had his parents on Christmas Day for dinner, then the younger of my boys and I went to my parents on Boxing Day (hubby was ill in bed and the older boy was at his girlfriends) A huge row aside on Christmas night and it was a pretty nice time.
I went to see the surgeon about my leg on the 4th, which sadly didn't go as well as I'd hoped. He's decided that it's not going to get better since the steroid injection didn't work, so he wants to operate. It won't be until around Easter time, so now I'm worrying that it'll clash with our IVF and that's not something I want to have to deal with because how do I decide which one to put off?!?!? Anyway, I'll cross that bridge if/when I get to it rather than worrying about it just now.
I also went to the FC for a baseline scan on the same day, and thankfully that went better. There were some small follicles left on each ovary but the nurse said that was ok and we were good to go on our next attempt. I'm onto daily injections this time to try and control my OV a bit more, so although I like doing them because I feel like I'm doing something I'm not looking forward to doing it every single day. This month I have two injections at 150iu and three at 75iu - hormonal anyone?!?!?!?!!? I've already warned the girl I work with so she's well prepared!! lol
I had some amazing news from an on-line friend today. She had IVF a few weeks ago for the second time after she had a MC following her first successful IVF, and today was her 7 week scan. She just posted about it - and they're having TWINS!!!! They had two embies put back, and both have implanted. As you can imagine she's over the moon, and for the first time in a long time I can say I'm truly delighted to say that about someone else's pregnancy!!!
Who knows, maybe one day soon it'll be our turn to share such amazing news with everyone?!??!?!
S x
I went to see the surgeon about my leg on the 4th, which sadly didn't go as well as I'd hoped. He's decided that it's not going to get better since the steroid injection didn't work, so he wants to operate. It won't be until around Easter time, so now I'm worrying that it'll clash with our IVF and that's not something I want to have to deal with because how do I decide which one to put off?!?!? Anyway, I'll cross that bridge if/when I get to it rather than worrying about it just now.
I also went to the FC for a baseline scan on the same day, and thankfully that went better. There were some small follicles left on each ovary but the nurse said that was ok and we were good to go on our next attempt. I'm onto daily injections this time to try and control my OV a bit more, so although I like doing them because I feel like I'm doing something I'm not looking forward to doing it every single day. This month I have two injections at 150iu and three at 75iu - hormonal anyone?!?!?!?!!? I've already warned the girl I work with so she's well prepared!! lol
I had some amazing news from an on-line friend today. She had IVF a few weeks ago for the second time after she had a MC following her first successful IVF, and today was her 7 week scan. She just posted about it - and they're having TWINS!!!! They had two embies put back, and both have implanted. As you can imagine she's over the moon, and for the first time in a long time I can say I'm truly delighted to say that about someone else's pregnancy!!!
Who knows, maybe one day soon it'll be our turn to share such amazing news with everyone?!??!?!
S x
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
Yet another let down
To be honest I didn't find the increase in drugs too bad, although the 150iu ones did leave bruises and the last 50iu was very painful (which was a shock as I don't normally even feel them!!) I didn't think I'd over stimulated again because I wasn't feeling too bloated or anything which I was pleased about.
Off we trotted to the FC on Friday for a scan to check the size of the follicles. The nurse scanned me then said that I had 2 14mm follicles and 2 11mm follicles, and because they weren't big enough she wasn't willing to book me in for IUI on Monday without another scan. I told her that I always OV around CD12 (which would be Sunday) but she still wouldn't budge on it.
So, Friday night I started getting OV pains. By Saturday night I'd had quite a few pains and had sore (.)(.)'s so I knew I'd OV'd and that it would be yet another wasted cycle. On Monday I went back knowing full well that it would be abandoned, and sure enough one of the 14mm follicles had popped, although the other one was still there and was now 19mm. I did think they would still be able to go ahead with the IUI because I still had a follicle ready and waiting, but apparently not. I also asked if they could give me something next time so that I didn't OV over a weekend (I'd been told there was something you could be given on a forum I use) but surprise surprise our useless clinic don't do that either.
Having spoken to my friend L who goes to the same clinic and is also having IUI, it seems as though our clinic doesn't do a fraction of the things that other clinics do - our only uses one type of stim drug and one type of trigger when others use several, ours do not offer the option to aspirate follicles if you have more than three to save abandoning cycles all the time because of over stimulating, and now to add to that list they won't give you anything to stop OV if it's over a weekend. That's another peeve of mine over our clinic - they're closed weekends and close for almost two weeks over Christmas!!!! Regulating a cycle and having fertility treatment sadly does not work to a time scale, so dictating that you're only allowed to OV Monday to Friday does seem a bit stupid doesn't it?!?!?!
Today also brought bad news for my friend L as AF arrived for her today meaning that her third IUI (she started in May and has only had three successful attempts at IUI) has failed. She was so sure that it had worked this time that's she's heartbroken. She's always been convinced that IUI would work for them, whereas I've never thought it would work for us, so each time it fails she takes it really hard. The good thing is she's been ref'd onto the same IVF clinic as we have so she will be due to start IVF in November next year.
So, at the moment we're in limbo land again and basically just waiting on AF showing up again to go back for a scan to check the remaining follicles are gone before we start on this wonderful cycle again. Apparently next month I'm being put onto daily injections to try and have the follicles ready before I OV naturally again. I'm sure that'll be a delight to stick needles in my tummy every day rather than just every other day!!!
Oh well, hope everyone has a Happy Christmas and a brighter New Year, and that the holidays aren't too hard for my fellow LTTTCers.
S x
Off we trotted to the FC on Friday for a scan to check the size of the follicles. The nurse scanned me then said that I had 2 14mm follicles and 2 11mm follicles, and because they weren't big enough she wasn't willing to book me in for IUI on Monday without another scan. I told her that I always OV around CD12 (which would be Sunday) but she still wouldn't budge on it.
So, Friday night I started getting OV pains. By Saturday night I'd had quite a few pains and had sore (.)(.)'s so I knew I'd OV'd and that it would be yet another wasted cycle. On Monday I went back knowing full well that it would be abandoned, and sure enough one of the 14mm follicles had popped, although the other one was still there and was now 19mm. I did think they would still be able to go ahead with the IUI because I still had a follicle ready and waiting, but apparently not. I also asked if they could give me something next time so that I didn't OV over a weekend (I'd been told there was something you could be given on a forum I use) but surprise surprise our useless clinic don't do that either.
Having spoken to my friend L who goes to the same clinic and is also having IUI, it seems as though our clinic doesn't do a fraction of the things that other clinics do - our only uses one type of stim drug and one type of trigger when others use several, ours do not offer the option to aspirate follicles if you have more than three to save abandoning cycles all the time because of over stimulating, and now to add to that list they won't give you anything to stop OV if it's over a weekend. That's another peeve of mine over our clinic - they're closed weekends and close for almost two weeks over Christmas!!!! Regulating a cycle and having fertility treatment sadly does not work to a time scale, so dictating that you're only allowed to OV Monday to Friday does seem a bit stupid doesn't it?!?!?!
Today also brought bad news for my friend L as AF arrived for her today meaning that her third IUI (she started in May and has only had three successful attempts at IUI) has failed. She was so sure that it had worked this time that's she's heartbroken. She's always been convinced that IUI would work for them, whereas I've never thought it would work for us, so each time it fails she takes it really hard. The good thing is she's been ref'd onto the same IVF clinic as we have so she will be due to start IVF in November next year.
So, at the moment we're in limbo land again and basically just waiting on AF showing up again to go back for a scan to check the remaining follicles are gone before we start on this wonderful cycle again. Apparently next month I'm being put onto daily injections to try and have the follicles ready before I OV naturally again. I'm sure that'll be a delight to stick needles in my tummy every day rather than just every other day!!!
Oh well, hope everyone has a Happy Christmas and a brighter New Year, and that the holidays aren't too hard for my fellow LTTTCers.
S x
Sunday, 11 December 2011
Starting again and the hidden costs of Infertility/Fertility treatment
After being MIA for 5 days AF finally arrived on Wednesday which meant a phone call to the FC to start another cycle. As it'd been over a month since our last scan, they wanted me over again for another one before I could start which I was happy about as I'd been told just to call up then go over and collect the drugs. Anyway, off we trotted on Thursday for another date with the dildo-cam, and thankfully everything looked fine and we were given the green light to start another IUI cycle.
We were at the supermarket the other day and as there was a 3 for 2 on vitamins I stocked up as we were both running out. Even on the special offer, for my prenatal vitamins for a month and hubby's for two months it still cost us £20 for them!!! It got me thinking, although we all know that fertility treatment is expensive and are always relieved if we qualify for NHS funding, there are still a hell of a lot of hidden/un-thought about costs involved with having fertility treatments. Every month you're shelling out for vitamins for you both (£20 at least depending on what you take), fuel to and from the many (many) hospital appointments, time off work (as I know a lot of us take holidays in order not to have to tell bosses what we're doing so in effect it's costing you a day's wage) not to mention the copious amounts of wine and chocolate required every month when it's yet another BFN!! We've been TTC for 28 months, so in that time it's cost us roughly £560 for vitamins alone!!! At the moment each month is costing us about £60 a month plus four days off work to have treatment - that adds up to quite a lot when you're having treatment month after month. It just goes to show, even when you are lucky enough to have NHS funding, the financial cost of treatment is actually pretty substantial.
So, I've just given myself my first injection of this cycle - 150iu Gonal F - and have another 150iu to take on Tuesday then 75iu on Thursday before going back for a scan on Friday. Fingers crossed I don't over stim on the higher does and that I manage not to OV before next Monday when we "should" be having IUI done again.
S x
We were at the supermarket the other day and as there was a 3 for 2 on vitamins I stocked up as we were both running out. Even on the special offer, for my prenatal vitamins for a month and hubby's for two months it still cost us £20 for them!!! It got me thinking, although we all know that fertility treatment is expensive and are always relieved if we qualify for NHS funding, there are still a hell of a lot of hidden/un-thought about costs involved with having fertility treatments. Every month you're shelling out for vitamins for you both (£20 at least depending on what you take), fuel to and from the many (many) hospital appointments, time off work (as I know a lot of us take holidays in order not to have to tell bosses what we're doing so in effect it's costing you a day's wage) not to mention the copious amounts of wine and chocolate required every month when it's yet another BFN!! We've been TTC for 28 months, so in that time it's cost us roughly £560 for vitamins alone!!! At the moment each month is costing us about £60 a month plus four days off work to have treatment - that adds up to quite a lot when you're having treatment month after month. It just goes to show, even when you are lucky enough to have NHS funding, the financial cost of treatment is actually pretty substantial.
So, I've just given myself my first injection of this cycle - 150iu Gonal F - and have another 150iu to take on Tuesday then 75iu on Thursday before going back for a scan on Friday. Fingers crossed I don't over stim on the higher does and that I manage not to OV before next Monday when we "should" be having IUI done again.
S x
Saturday, 26 November 2011
Our Month Off
Just realised it's been almost four weeks since I updated on here - how on earth did that happen!!! So, we had an enforced month off treatment because we were going to be in Italy in the middle of the next cycle. I was a bit upset about it, but to be honest it's been nice having a break from drugs and appointments for a few weeks.
Our week in Bologna was amazing - I'm not a city person at all but I could live there no problem. We spent the week visiting all the beautiful buildings in the city and just soaking up the whole atmosphere of the place. It's not touristy at all,so it feels very authentically Italian as apposed to the way it goes when places become tourist hot spots. The one place that stood out to me over everywhere else was a chapel called San Pietro. It didn't look anything from the outside, and we actually wandered into it because we saw someone coming out and wondered what it was. I'm not a religious person in the slightest, but for some reason that place seemed to pull me in and I wanted to go back to it over and over again. I just wanted to sit at the back and think, and it seemed to be so easy to do that there.
Being away gave us a chance to talk about things without the pressure of appointments and without me being totally irrational because of the drugs. DH admitted that he feels it's all his fault that we can't get pregnant and that if the treatment doesn't work he think's we'll split up within a year. I told him that I felt as though he wasn't interested in the treatment and hadn't asked how I was feeling through the whole TWW, and that he didn't even know when the OTD was. He said he did know when the OTD was, but he didn't want to talk about it all the time because he knew it would upset me. I think we both realised that we keep things to ourselves a lot because we're scared of hurting the other one, but that it actually hurts us both more when we don't talk about things. After that things were fine (well, apart from me losing my purse with half of our spending money and credit card in it!! Wasn't found but mum sent money to us through Western Union so we were ok)
Strangely though, I didn't OV when we were away (still haven't and since I'm on CD21 or 23 (not sure which day to take as CD1 this month) I've no idea what's going on) AF is next due on 3rd December, so unless she arrives then I've no idea what's going to happen with our next cycle as we may not be able to fit a cycle in before Christmas.
I think the break away did do us the world of good and made us feel more like just being "us" again. DH did surprise me at the airport on the way home by going into the Ducati shop and buying these for us to keep, and hopefully we'll need them at some point.
S x
Our week in Bologna was amazing - I'm not a city person at all but I could live there no problem. We spent the week visiting all the beautiful buildings in the city and just soaking up the whole atmosphere of the place. It's not touristy at all,so it feels very authentically Italian as apposed to the way it goes when places become tourist hot spots. The one place that stood out to me over everywhere else was a chapel called San Pietro. It didn't look anything from the outside, and we actually wandered into it because we saw someone coming out and wondered what it was. I'm not a religious person in the slightest, but for some reason that place seemed to pull me in and I wanted to go back to it over and over again. I just wanted to sit at the back and think, and it seemed to be so easy to do that there.
Being away gave us a chance to talk about things without the pressure of appointments and without me being totally irrational because of the drugs. DH admitted that he feels it's all his fault that we can't get pregnant and that if the treatment doesn't work he think's we'll split up within a year. I told him that I felt as though he wasn't interested in the treatment and hadn't asked how I was feeling through the whole TWW, and that he didn't even know when the OTD was. He said he did know when the OTD was, but he didn't want to talk about it all the time because he knew it would upset me. I think we both realised that we keep things to ourselves a lot because we're scared of hurting the other one, but that it actually hurts us both more when we don't talk about things. After that things were fine (well, apart from me losing my purse with half of our spending money and credit card in it!! Wasn't found but mum sent money to us through Western Union so we were ok)
Strangely though, I didn't OV when we were away (still haven't and since I'm on CD21 or 23 (not sure which day to take as CD1 this month) I've no idea what's going on) AF is next due on 3rd December, so unless she arrives then I've no idea what's going to happen with our next cycle as we may not be able to fit a cycle in before Christmas.
I think the break away did do us the world of good and made us feel more like just being "us" again. DH did surprise me at the airport on the way home by going into the Ducati shop and buying these for us to keep, and hopefully we'll need them at some point.
S x
Tuesday, 8 November 2011
Taking a Break
Today was official test date (OTD) and because of that I had to call the fertility clinic today.
Having spoken to my friend L (who is at the same clinic as us having IUI) about the FC not accepting my AF as a proper AF - something they told me on Monday when I called to ask - we decided that I'd be better to test this morning before I called them. L was actually a star and we met last night because she had some HPT's that she wanted me to have to use today.
So this morning, not holding out much hope I POAS as ordered and wasn't the slightest bit surprised that it was a BFN. Thankfully when I called the clinic today the nurse I spoke to was happy with that and said that I know my body better than anyone and if I'm happy what I had was an AF then that was good enough for her, so that cycle has officially been written off as a failure.
Next Monday we're off on a wee holiday - and I can't wait. We're going to Bologna - home of Ducati - for five days and of course while we're there we will be visiting the Ducati museum and factory. To be honest I think we badly need some time away together to try and forget about all the stress of fertility treatment. The last few months have been really difficult, and have put a huge strain on our marriage, so hopefully some time away just relaxing will help us sort ourselves out and hopefully take some of the strain off.
Sadly though, it does mean we'll have to miss a month of treatment as we would have been due to have the actual IUI done at the end of next week when we won't be here. In a way I'm kind of glad to have a break from all the injections and scans, but it's going to be a hard month knowing that we're back to doing nothing again. I do OV while we're away though, so I'm sure we'll take advantage of being in a romantic country and I guess you just never know (well actually I do know, but I can live in hope!!)
S x
Having spoken to my friend L (who is at the same clinic as us having IUI) about the FC not accepting my AF as a proper AF - something they told me on Monday when I called to ask - we decided that I'd be better to test this morning before I called them. L was actually a star and we met last night because she had some HPT's that she wanted me to have to use today.
So this morning, not holding out much hope I POAS as ordered and wasn't the slightest bit surprised that it was a BFN. Thankfully when I called the clinic today the nurse I spoke to was happy with that and said that I know my body better than anyone and if I'm happy what I had was an AF then that was good enough for her, so that cycle has officially been written off as a failure.
Next Monday we're off on a wee holiday - and I can't wait. We're going to Bologna - home of Ducati - for five days and of course while we're there we will be visiting the Ducati museum and factory. To be honest I think we badly need some time away together to try and forget about all the stress of fertility treatment. The last few months have been really difficult, and have put a huge strain on our marriage, so hopefully some time away just relaxing will help us sort ourselves out and hopefully take some of the strain off.
Sadly though, it does mean we'll have to miss a month of treatment as we would have been due to have the actual IUI done at the end of next week when we won't be here. In a way I'm kind of glad to have a break from all the injections and scans, but it's going to be a hard month knowing that we're back to doing nothing again. I do OV while we're away though, so I'm sure we'll take advantage of being in a romantic country and I guess you just never know (well actually I do know, but I can live in hope!!)
S x
Sunday, 6 November 2011
Over and Out
Well, surprise surprise - AF arrived today so our IUI didn't work :-(
I didn't post during the TWW, as to be honest there wasn't really anything to say. I had my normal post OV symptoms, but that was it really. I was naughty and tested early on Thursday, and I wasn't the least bit shocked to see a BFN as I just knew this time hadn't worked. Friday I started spotting very pale pink, then nothing for the rest of the day until Friday evening when I had a tiny amount of brown spotting. Yesterday there was yet more spotting, only for AF to arrive proper today.
On Friday I thought it was all over anyway, but when the spotting stopped I'll admit I did get my hopes up ever so slightly that maybe it was an implantation bleed. Yesterday though I had a word with myself because I knew I was only setting myself up for a fall thinking that way, and lo and behold wasn't I just proved right!!!
So, I'll allow myself a day or two (at most) of being upset then yet again it's time to dust myself off and get on with it again. Sadly this month will be an enforced month off, as we decided we need some time away and we're heading to Bologna (Italy) on Monday next week for five days. I am frustrated that we'll have to miss this month and let another chance of a BFP pass us by, but there isn't anything I can do about so we'll just have to have some "au natural" trying while we're on holiday ;-)
S x
I didn't post during the TWW, as to be honest there wasn't really anything to say. I had my normal post OV symptoms, but that was it really. I was naughty and tested early on Thursday, and I wasn't the least bit shocked to see a BFN as I just knew this time hadn't worked. Friday I started spotting very pale pink, then nothing for the rest of the day until Friday evening when I had a tiny amount of brown spotting. Yesterday there was yet more spotting, only for AF to arrive proper today.
On Friday I thought it was all over anyway, but when the spotting stopped I'll admit I did get my hopes up ever so slightly that maybe it was an implantation bleed. Yesterday though I had a word with myself because I knew I was only setting myself up for a fall thinking that way, and lo and behold wasn't I just proved right!!!
So, I'll allow myself a day or two (at most) of being upset then yet again it's time to dust myself off and get on with it again. Sadly this month will be an enforced month off, as we decided we need some time away and we're heading to Bologna (Italy) on Monday next week for five days. I am frustrated that we'll have to miss this month and let another chance of a BFP pass us by, but there isn't anything I can do about so we'll just have to have some "au natural" trying while we're on holiday ;-)
S x
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